2015 : A New Tomorrow, A New Beginning

Captured this sunset from my home

Well, it’s already the 2^nd evening of the New Year 2015 and I am still reconciling myself to the fact that it’s another brand new year all over again. I haven't even made any New Year Resolutions nor even thought much about what I want to achieve this year! So much for being non-ambitious!

Looking back at 2014, it was a painful year for me and my family where I had to bid farewell to my mother after tirelessly looking after her in hospital and helplessly watching her battle against leukemia and pneumonia, eventually growing weaker and weaker and finally succumb to the disease.

It was a heartbreaking time for me and one that I will never really forget I believe.

Even as I write this, her face, the feel of her skin, her voice, her smell, is as real to me as though I had just seen her today. I will always carry pieces of her in my heart and in my memory and I am looking forward to visiting her grave tomorrow on occasion of her birthday.

Those were the low moments of 2014 but there were also the high moments.

The year saw me fostering new friendships and enjoying training runs with buddies and new-found friends. Running was fun and enjoyable with them.

KS and me also celebrated our first year together in November and I really thank God for giving him to me.
 

That year also saw me giving  my best running performance in all my 9 years of running, finally breaking through and re-achieving my former PB for the Half Marathon category in early February at the SCB HK Marathon. Something I had been unable to re-attain previously due to illness.

I ran a half-hearted Half-Marathon race at the Laguna Phuket International Marathon in June as my mind was a million miles away with my mother in hospital and nearly collapsed of dehydration after the race.

My 2^nd and 3^rd trail race events in June and December respectively were run on Malaysian soil and both were unexpected podium finishes for me in my category. 

I also did my comeback Full Marathon race in October by securing an 8^th Malaysian Women placing in the SCB KL Marathon with a sub-4 timing. Followed by another sub-4 Full Marathon finish at the Galaxy Entertainment Macau International Marathon in December.

However, the crux was winning Champion in the Women Veteran’s category in the Pacesetters 3030 2014 30km in November which made me realize that I had grown stronger than before my illness 4 years ago.

All that mindless running I did in between during training, simply to escape the negative thoughts of my mother’s illness and the mental anguish I endured however, was not without it’s drawbacks and I suffered an injury at the fad pad of my right heel which started from a jump and misstep on a stone on the trail during a race but grew gradually worse on and off throughout the course of the year, what with all those continuous training runs and me, turning a blind eye to the pain. Not that I have a low threshold of pain, in fact, I do actually have a very high threshold of pain. 

I recall my Kung Fu Sinsei used to place a burning leaf on my skin when I was 13 years old in an attempt to “cure” my wounded knee and I would not make a single sound throughout all though I could hear the sizzle of burn and smell the scent of burning flesh.

Anyway, after my final race in December, I paid a visit again to the specialist as the pain had become unbearable to the point that it was affecting my daily life. I was practically limping and hobbling along. The doctor told me I would need to be on crutches to get around. He also told me I was to stop running completely for 6 – 8 weeks to allow the injury to heal properly. Thereafter, there’s no guarantee even, whether the heel would fully recover nor whether I would ever run again.  

Such depressing news it was to a person who could never sit still throughout her life! Even KS started hinting that I may need to give up the idea of running the Full Marathon in the Gold Coast Airport Marathon in July 2015 of which I had already signed up for.

Nevertheless, I took it in my stride and turned to other lower-impact exercises to stay fit, such as swimming and cycling. Whatever it is, I will never stop moving. If you tell me to sit in a chair the whole day, I would rather die.

It’s been 10 days exactly that I have stopped running and I am happy and thankful to find that the pain and swelling at the heel has lessened quite a bit.

I am thankful that I didn't actually need crutches after all to get around. I will get better and I will turn this setback into something positive, finding the time for other things in my life.

It’s really strange how after stopping running, I have found myself having lots of time on my hands. Time to do the things I hadn't been able to afford to do when I was training for races, time to spend with loved ones which I never had. Which really makes me wonder, is our quality of life compromised when we are seriously training for races?

Whether I will really heal completely and get back to running or not in 2015, only time will tell. 

For now, running and racing will not be featuring highly on my New Year’s Resolutions which I am going to make after this. Instead, focusing on recovering fully and NOT getting injured again in future is my priority and will definitely be on my Resolutions List. 

And yes, I still look forward to better things and a better quality of life this new year.

Until the next post .... 

Cheers to 2015!